Toxic Positivity

In a recent conversation with a friend overseas, we got onto the subject of toxic positivity. What is toxic positivity and am I guilty of it?

What is Toxic Positivity: 

“Toxic positivity is the act of avoiding, suppressing, or rejecting negative emotions or experiences. This may take the form of denying your own emotions or someone else denying your emotions, insisting on positive thinking instead.” To deny the reality of what is happening is a privilege none of us who seek to make the world a better place can indulge in. That is the difference between being hopeful and constructive, and being willfully oblivious to the reality as it is and how it must be changed.

Do I Project Toxic Positivity?

I have come to expect a specific type of phone call. It comes after a tragedy. Sometimes it comes after a hate crime, other times after a mass shooting. In my 23 years of working in politics and advocacy, it has become part of my life to help families in crisis. People harmed by a type of hatred or violence that makes you question how well you know your fellow humans. Yet, often while in the midst of complete, unimaginable tragedy, I see people step up in extraordinary ways. My lifelong work has been about bringing together electoral politics, policy making, and coalition building to center the people most impacted by this work. All these years, all these efforts have consistently shown me the very worst and the very best in humanity. I try to focus on the good, the possibilities ahead. It keeps me active while the knowledge of the injustices around us light a fire under me.

Afterall, how does one deal with social justice work without somehow holding onto a semblance of hope and positivity? Truth is I am a positive person, pragmatically positive. I draw positivity and hope from really incredible people doing amazing things. However, I do not allow this to get me to a place of being delusionally positive, that I cannot see what is happening right in front of me.

Consider the issue of toxic positivity on display in the counter-climate change/climate justice narrative

Generally speaking, young people have a clear handle on how bad things are. Overall, their generation understands the global injustice at the root of the issue and experience climate grief as an understandable response. They understand that small islands and developing states, who are emitting the least and causing the least damage to the planet, are harmed the most by climate change–a key illustration of climate injustice. They are on the frontline but global leaders, who played a big role in causing this harm, shift their focus from the dire nature of the problem to talk about the progress we have made on climate goals. Like the older generation, they look around and see the progress made from a technology or innovation perspective, and claim it is not as bad as we think. To me, this is an example of toxic positivity. Believing everything is just going to work out or minimizing its real danger is problematic, but it is also bad policy because it will prevent us from continuing to make meaningful and necessary progress. 

This is at the core of combining the pragmatic side with the positive side. We are not all doomed yet, but we are creeping closer and closer to an irreversible reality that will affect EVERYONE. To be clear–I believe in caring about all of humanity, not just ourselves–but if considering one's own well-being is what creates action, that’s fine for now. To deny how staggeringly close we are to irreparable suffering is harmful to the planet and the young people who have inherited it from us.

It Can Be All To Easy To Have a Toxically Positive Mindset

The truth is, I understand why people lean into toxic positivity as a frame of thinking. In some ways, it is a logical coping mechanism. In fact, I think most people are not always conscious when they are engaging in toxic positivity. Even in my own case, my policy work is often very difficult subject matter. When I work on human trafficking, domestic violence, gun violence or accountability and justice for marginalized communities, I catch myself grasping at anything potentially positive in relation to these grave issues when they are simply too difficult to deal with. However, in doing that, I also have to check myself, making sure to examine my assessments and the potential of harm caused by unfounded positivity. Toxic positivity can get in the way of achieving positive outcomes because the inability to acknowledge that things are very wrong and accepting where we are limits our ability to achieve real progress that's needed.

Toxic Positivity and Reparations

Another issue that highlights the harm of toxic positivity is the discussion around reparations. I am part of a coalition working to pass a reparations bill in congress. The survivors, descendants and allies in this space are incredible. But outside the coalition and support, there are conversations and comments that put me over the edge of frustration and anger that is oftentimes so overwhelming. From, “I never owned slaves” to “my family did own slaves generations ago, but those are my far distant ancestors not me,” to, “We already dealt with slavery and racism in this country…” and therefore feel unrelated to the continuation of system racism and inequity in the United States and other nations. After all, we had a Black president, and this post-racial America does not believe it has to deal with the issue of reparations or reparatory justice. The denial of continued harms and abuses is held in place by an intentionally unequal system and desire to delusionally claim progress that is not there or at minimum, so far from complete, is the type of toxic positivity that continues to harm people. Harm that can not be taken lightly or pushed aside. 

I don’t have all the answers–in fact I’m not sure I have any answers. What I know is that, for me, I have to find a balance between recognizing progress as it’s made and taking even a moment to celebrate it. And also fully acknowledging that across so many devastating issues, there is so much work to be done and we don’t have the luxury of stopping or celebrating for too long…finding hope alongside the incredible people fighting for change while also understanding that this is hard and emotional, and it’s likely that many of us will not see the final results of our fight.